This past week has been one of those up and down roller coasters with this girl I met in person from a site called myyearbook.
personally, I don’t believe anybody should “look” for a relationship in the first place. I mean, if it happens it happens, but it can only happen face to face, not over some stupid computer. I mean, computers are for fun and enjoyment, not for looking for dates on. How someone can know there in love with words over a computer screen that my 11 year old nephew could be typing, I’ll never understand. Even nice looking pictures can be googled, so why are there so many women on here looking for love like its some kind of game?
Having said that, would I go out on a date with someone if they asked me? sure! absolutely! Its not like the girl of my dreams is going to fall in my lap or anything. God does work miracles, but not that miraculous. hehe. I don’t think I would turn down any offer at this point, but I wouldn’t put myself in the position that something bad could happen that I would regret later. So to avoid that mess, I agree to meet in a public place where there are people around, talk to her, get to know each other, and take the time to see where things go from there. The first couple times we meet, I have no desire to give her anything except maybe a quick hug. I always think of those movies where in movies, they go out on a date or two, get to know each other, he takes her up to her house, she fiddles with her keys, like in that movie hitch, you know? except that in my view, once the first kiss has been given, that should mean something along the lines of going steady. Either that, or agree that you are more then just friends, and that seeing other people should not be allowed at that point. How a woman can kiss a man on the lips, and not want to be more then friends, or go out with someone else the next day, I’ll never understand, unless he was a bad kisser or something. hehe
Now If it works out we are just friends, great I could always use a friend to hang out with, goto movies with, out to eat, I do go alone to those kinds of things but my point is I would rather not. Even more then friends would be better, but my biggest thing is, I am not into one-night stands, or making out just as friends.
This last girl I met in person, she did all that sweet talkin stuff to make me think she was pure of heart, but all she wanted was a sex partner for the afternoon while crashing at my pad for the night. We didn’t make love, but that’s what she wanted, and was mad because I wouldn’t give it to her. I can’t talk to my guy friends about all this stuff because they say “what’s wrong with you why wouldn’t you have sex with her she wanted you man go for it” or “you need professional help to get over your fear of having sex” or something stupid like that.
To make a long story short, I never saw a woman get up and out the door so fast in my life, never saw or heard from her again. All that because I wouldn’t make love to her. She slept on my couch the whole night.
Another time, I met a girl from our Christian Singles Group here in Fort Wayne, who wanted to be friends, which is good, but she wanted things like hugging, kissing, making out, not sex just the foreplay stuff, but without going steady in any form. That is another thing that hits a nerve of mine, is when a girl wants what I like to call “friends with benefits” even though girls today don’t call it that, its still what their doing, because if a lady is going to choose to kiss me on the lips, she’s gotta be my steady, otherwise, no kissing or touching of any kind should be allowed. Thats the way it should be. Kissing and making out should only be allowed when a couple wants to be a couple, what I like to call going steady. These girls, they don’t want to commit, and I know its because they want the freedom to see other people, which is fine, but my pet pieve is when women don’t respect me, and themselves, enough to want to commit to just one person. If she has more then one offer, and likes both, she has to make a decision, because its not right to lead them both on like that. Does that make sense?
Now am I wrong on that? because this seems to be a growing trend going around with single women wanting just a booty call without the commitment to go along with it. It makes me wish I was married, it really does, so I don’t have to worry about it anymore. I am tired of being single and having to put up with all this crap all the time from the opposite sex. I don’t look, I’m not trying too hard, I don’t have to look, or try, seems like I get offers just about every place I go. I don’t mean to be picky, but so far, this is all I see from these women here in the Fort Wayne area.
It makes me want to put on a monk outfit, and swear off women for the rest of my life, because I have had it with the crap that women do, and then they get all mad when I don’t give them what they want, its like, tough nuggies ladies. I don’t care how beautiful a woman is, if her moral values aren’t the same as mine, or more strict then mine, then forget it.
Anyway, when a person “looks” for love, then thats what they get. The funny thing is, I didn’t ask any of these girls out, they all came to me asking to meet in person, so it’s not like I’m going around asking women out on dates or anything, so at first when a girl comes to you, you start to think, well maybe this could be a sign from God, that this could be the one, but when it turns out she’s not, then its kind of disappointing, and having to go thru that over and over and over again, makes me feel fed up with the whole thing.
Thats when I started to realize what my Divorce Care class instructor said is really true, that there is a possibility that there isn’t a woman out there for me, and that, God could be leading me in another direction instead. I’ve thought about that, but at the same time, I know God made Eve for a reason, to be a companion to man, so for right now, I am thinking she’s out there somewhere, I just haven’t found her yet. Maybe God knows I am not ready to meet her yet, so maybe all this to prepare me for what’s to come. Like everything else, we just get so impatient at times.
Right now I’m just trying to figure this whole thing out, how can a woman kiss a man on the lips, or make out, or even have sex, and not want to go steady with him afterwards? I don’t understand why someone would not want that, after being that intimate with another person. I just don’t grasp that concept I guess.
The thing that blows my mind, are these Christian women who won’t go out on a date with you unless they’ve known you at least a year. Isn’t that the point of going out on a first date is getting to know the person? Its not like a first date is a marriage proposal. What is wrong with asking a woman out to eat, at a public place, where there are people around? Why does she have to know the person for a certain length of time? Personally, I think that is code for “get lost you creep” or something along those lines. You don’t want to try again though, otherwise you risk her bringing up a sexual harassment charge against you just for asking a girl out on a date, so once she says no, you can’t bother her again, or it could mean trouble, as I found out one time at school. hehe
I do think my Divorce Care class instructor is a bad influence on me though. Her and I were talking about my second marriages, how making love was pretty much non-existent. She told me that alone was grounds for divorce, because a man and wife should be making love on a regular basis, or something like that. I told her, what if she had some kind of illness that prevented her from having sex, does that mean I should divorce her? Then she went on about how important sex is in a marriage. I pretty much tuned her out though, because I didn’t agree with what she said at all. I know lots of older couples who never make love, whats wrong with that? If I didn’t want children of my own someday, I wouldn’t want it either. Some of the girls in the class were saying they are looking for a man more like me on that, but I think they were lying, because some women use sex as a tool to get a man to do what they want him to do, and I think that is wrong. I don’t think sex should be that important in any relationship. I enjoy sex just as much as the next guy, but it doesn’t run my life, if I don’t have it the rest of my life I’m perfectly happy with that, and I don’t even want to think about it until after I’m married in the first place.. I don’t know, I just don’t understand it, the women in my class say their looking for a man who doesn’t think about sex all the time, those girls have no interest in me at all, and the ones that do, want sex before even going steady, so I’m just frustrated with women all around.
The thing that gets me, is I’m not like most men. If a woman kisses me on the lips, or tries to play with other parts of my body, I have no desire at all to go further then that, I just don’t, and that’s what most of my guy friends think is crazy. Our divorce Care class instructor was talking about this guy she knew who didn’t want to have sex before he was married, so she wasn’t allowed to hug and kiss him in any way, because he said he would desire to be sinful, so they didn’t until they got married. She thought that was so sweet, but I don’t even understand that, because kissing a girl or holding her hand, or her touching my genitals, doesn’t make me desire to have sex with her. I told her I probably would have saw that as a sign to stay clear of him, just because if he can’t kiss a woman without wanting to have sex with her, then thats not a very good man, it doesn’t sound like to me, but what do I know, apparently I’m not right in the head according to her.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sex as much as the next man, but enjoying it, and having to have it, are two different things. If I choose not to have sex until I’m married, then she can touch my genitals or try to lure me all she wants and it won’t make any difference, I won’t do it, and I can honestly say that, because I know it will be worth it when it time is right.
