The Lord's Prayer
My mother raised us kids as christians when I was growing up. I have fond memories of reading the bible with my mother before she would tuck us into bed for the night. Then when I was 11 just after my parents divorce, she sent me away to a Blind school in Indianapolis, 3 hours away from home, so she taught me how to pray by myself. She taught me this prayer, and I memorized it and said it to myself every night:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord my soul to keep,
if I should die before I wake,
I pray the lord my soul to take.
God bless mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, stephanee, Tom, Kim, and Ben.
and then I would talk to the Lord, in my own words, what I wanted to say to him. By then I was usually too tired to say much.
but I never really knew what all that meant. It was a happy memory I had with my mother, but that was about it.
When I became an adult, I felt myself moving away from the lord, as I'm sure the rest of the kids in my family did too. I even heard one of my sisters has lost her belief entirely. In a way I felt myself going down that same road for the longest time. Was getting harder and harder to believe in something I just could not see.
Then, as my Crohns Disease became worse, I became overwhelmed with physical pain on my rectum. I spent literally hours, almost days, in the bathtub crying and screaming until the pain would stop. Nobody knew any of this was going on, not even my wife, because I would lock myself in the bathroom and just scream with pain, literally.. A few times while i was at work, the pain would be so bad they found me lying on the bathroom floor with tears rolling down my face. Rubin had to carry me out of the bathroom and Pat called my wife over to take me home. That was happening pretty much daily for like a year straight, the pain I mean, until the doctors did surgery and realized what was going on. So they did 2 different surgeries with the pain still there.
One particular evening, when the pain was especially bad, and I had no pain medication left, must have been 2 or 3 in the morning I think, as I layed there crying in pain, contemplating rather I should goto ER again, or just tough it out as long as I can, out of emotional strain, I began to say this prayer that suddenly popped into my head out of nowhere.
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done
on earth, as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil:
for Thine is the
Kingdom, and the Power, and Glory, forever. Amen.
(Matt. 6:9-13)
I said that to myself, over, and over, and over again, crying laying in a bathtub, with my legs spread up in the air, which was all I could do to get the pain in my rectum to slow down, but even then it would always be there, so I just kept saying this prayer.. Then suddenly out of nowhere, I feel this warm calming sensation all over my body. The pain suddenly stops, I mean just stops in an instant. I am thinking "wait a minute, I didn't take my darvaced, whats going on?". Well, at that momment i knew what had happened. THe lord, took my pain away.
For the next 2 days it was gone. It came back later, but in that brief time I knew, God had answered my prayer.
I never knew who God really was until now.
God isn't about being made to goto church every Sunday.
God isn't about acting like a religious freak speaking in some weird tongues.
God isn't about being told how to live your life by people we don't know,
Do you know how the Lord decides rather you go to heaven or hell? I never really knew before. I always thought that as long as you didn't kill someone and was nice to people you would goto heaven.
but I've learned its even simplier then that.
God says...All you have to do to goto heaven, is believe in Him. That is all.. All you have to do is believe in him, and ask him to be saved, and your guaranteed a spot in heaven.
Now isn't that easy? As kids, we all become overwhelmed with parents making us goto church every Sunday, then when they become adults they grow to hate the church, because their parents forced them to believe in something we as kids don't fully understand. We listen to them because there our parents, but we don't truely believe what is being said to us.
Its kinda like Star Wars, where Anakin is lead to the dark side of the force by the evil Sith Ruler. The Devil is like the evil Sith Ruler, the earth is his land, he knows our weaknesses, he can read our minds and our hearts so he knows just what to say to lead us to the dark side forever, and once we cross, its hard to come back.. but then in Return of the Jedi Anakin comes back and kills the evil ruler. God is like the highest Jedi Master, and the Jedi Council is like the church, all we have to do is believe in the Good side, and let the hate and fear go. and we are guaranteed a spot in heaven forever. God doesn't care rather we stand on the Jedi Counsil or not all he cares about is that we believe in the Good side. We can't just say it, we have to truely believe it in our hearts God knows when we're lying or not, so does the evil Sith Lord, he knows when we feel confusion and uses that to his advantage, so its up to us to decide, one way or the other, and if we truely believe in our hearts, in the Good side, then we are guaranteed a spot in heaven forever. If we are ever confused as to which way to go, you can always ask God what to do, and he will show you, in a way you will understand, and only you will understand, even if it doesn't seem clear right away, it will, if you truely believe in your heart.
God doesn't care rather we are at church every Sunday or not. God doesn't care if we sit and memorize his teachings word for word or not.
Simply put, God wants us to believe.. and to say to him, in your own words, that you want to be with him in Heaven. No special words or poems to memorize. As long as what you say is from your heart, you are guaranteed a spot in heaven, all you have to do is believe. Believe, and trust in him that he has your life all planned out, and that even God allows bad things to happen in our lives, to make us stronger people for the good. I believe everything happens for a reason, and God has that reason all mapped out, even if we don't understand what that reason is. Alot of times, he wants us to find out on our own, so that way it teaches us to be stronger people. I know there was a reason why God made me go thru all this rectal pain, I am convinced that it was to remind me, that God is there for me. He doesn't like to see me in pain, but he allows it so that I may be closer to him. I surely would have stopped believing too otherwise. Pain that severe just doesn't stop on its own like that, not pain that severe, so I know it was the Lord, I can feel him comforting me when the pain returns, and I continue to struggle with this pain to this day, it just reminds me that God is there for me, and that he always will be, even when I am in heaven. Its to remind me, to not cross over to the evil Sith Lord, to be a Jedi, working my way to becoming a Jedi master someday in heaven.
Just remember, that the Devil, or evil Sith Lord, knows everything about you. He knows what makes you strong, what makes you weak, what your thoughts are, and your confusions, so he knows exactally what to say to make you cross over to the dark side, but we can fight him by simply praying to God, and asking him to be saved. As long as you truely want to be saved, in your heart, you will not cross over to the dark side, you will be guaranteed a spot in heaven forever as long as you want to be saved.